The only way to learn strong faith is to endure great trials.
~George Muller
God loves with a great love the man whose heart is bursting with a passion for the impossible.
~William Booth

I have a confession. It's a horrible little secret I don't like to admit. Are you *sure* you are ready to hear it? It may change your whole view of me...but I need to be honest.
Here it is: I think....
although I try sooo hard...that I am not doing a very good job as a mother. :(
This isn't a post for me to whine...just to admit that my kids bicker sometimes, they don't clean up after themselves sometimes and quite often...have to be asked more than once to do something. I study my Bible, I pray, I cry to my mom and Chris....I am constantly trying to train them better. I strive daily to be a better wife, mother and woman....but alas...I feel as though I fail most of the time.
Today with schooling, Madelyn was difficult. Sometimes I feel like it is a battle I can't win. I try gentleness, patience, anger, stern....all to really no avail. I don't expect perfection from my children...and honestly...they are wonderful children. Very *busy* little ones...but with big hearts and a curiosity for life. But we have moments where I just cry out to God asking "What am I doing wrong?". I want to raise disciplined, loving, kind, respectful, fun, Godly children.
We spend time together, reading, playing yahtzee (a new found fave game for us) etc. Is it possible that they spend too much time with me? Am I not being firm enough....or maybe too firm with them? I can't seem to find the right balance. God has entrusted these children to me...but I truly struggle with how to teach/train them the correct way sometimes. This makes me feel like such a failure as a mother and pierces me deeply. I have such a strong desire to be a wonderful mother.
Our wonderful moments outweigh the negative ones...but I still *wish* for fewer negative things to happen. I try to watch my own behavior so that I am a good example to them....I am now at a loss on what else to do. Maybe my expectations are unrealistic? Sometimes I would just love my children to sit and be obedient like Amish children can be. I seek to train them that way....but am not quite sure how they do it??
I am a very imperfect person. I figured sometimes I need to reveal that in my blog so I don't seem as something I am not. :) Ok....that's a bit 'o my heart for you.....now onto happier things.....
**On the bright side...I do have some
fun news. X lost
another tooth today....(as seen in the top pic) He was so pleased! This all happened while my mom spent time with the kids as I went in town to get....a cell phone.
*gasp* Yes, I have moved into the 21st century. I can hardly believe it myself! It's really pretty...hehe...and I will feel more secure if I am out with all the children in the van and we would happen to break down or something. :)

Madelyn and X both have summer birthdays...as a gift from my Aunt Nance who lives a few hours away...she sent each of them $15 to pick something out for themselves. They each got a few things....and one thing they each got was a new umbrella! Oh were they ever thrilled! They absolutely LOVE having their own umbrellas and were using them *even without rain* last evening. Jaxson had fun using X's *to shield him from the sun* while X played in the dirt pile.

I love this little area outside where the kids play. They will ask me "Mama...can we go outside and play in the dirt pile?"...and this is the place they are referring to. I will be sad when the snow flies this winter and we need to gather all the cars up till spring. They love it so much out there. :)

Earlier this year, we had to dig up our septic line thingy (I'm not so good with technical terms...but you know what I mean, right?). Well...when mowing...there was this terrible rocky/torn up area where I couldn't mow because there were rocks and the ground was so uneven where they had covered the septic line back up with dirt. So Chris got the Kubota and smoothed it all out....so once the grass grows in...it will all look pretty again over there! :)

Ahahahahehehe...Jaxson cracks me up....I went outside last night (so glad I had my camera)...and there he was, wearing Chris's boots which went up to his knees. You should have seen the poor boy trying to walk....it was terribly humorous!!! He was getting frustrated though..so I had him go in and put on a different pair of shoes...thinking he would put on flip flops or sneaks......

....nope. He just put on another pair of boots...although these were sized a lil better ;). Looking at the pic below...you would think we were getting ready for a terrible storm! lol

And here, I turned quickly to catch a quick shot of all the chickens chasing me...LOL. They are so funny. And no....I didn't have any food with me. I guess that they all just were *hoping* that I did. I was actually almost jogging and their little claws were pitter-pattering behind me....faster and faster to keep up. It was too funny!

And this pic below is random...but I wanted to show this ivy kind-of stuff that is growing over my stone wall. Technically...it's a *weed* but I kinda like it. Is that strange? I like the vines going over the wall like that. I think it has a really neat effect. What do you think?

Thank you for coming by and visiting with me. Please forgive my imperfections....they are many. I am so thankful for a loving God so full of grace and acceptance for those who choose to follow Jesus. Amen? I am praying for a better day tomorrow! Hope you all have a wonderful weekend ahead!
What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flow.
~Martin Luther
A simple, childlike faith in a Divine Friend solves all the problems that come to us by land or sea.
~Helen Keller