Thursday, May 31, 2012

Country Living...and Life Changes...

All ready to plant some sweet corn in the *big* garden...

Let's play a game. It's called: "Where's Jaxson?" :)

Chris and the other children were at the meat Jaxson and I took a picture together while we waited...

Here they come!

Jaxson, caught in a *hee-yaw* motion...

The boys were chasing each other and wrestling in the field...when I hear: "Ut oh!" Jaxson lost one of his top teeth while they were wrestling. It needed to come out as the grown-up tooth is already coming in...but now it is lost somewhere in the field. We don't *do* the tooth fairy or it wasn't a huge loss...I think it just surprised the boys, all of a sudden, when it wasn't in his mouth anymore!

We worked hard in the evening to plant corn. We're all so thankful for the breeze that was cooling us all down as we planted!

Then, we took the back way home...through the trees that line the road and give it a fun tunnel-like feel!

Now it's time to be gut-wrenching-ly truthful. Are you ready? goes....

A few years ago (4 or 5)...Chris had a vasectomy. We thought this was the best route for us as we seemed very fertile and we were busy with three children 5 and under. We felt our family was the perfect size and hoped God would "see it our way" and considered ourselves wise for making the decision. As the majority of the "world" out there will tell you, "You can't afford too many children now-a-days." "You need to make sure you have time for yourself." "You're too busy...why would you want more children?". We bought into the lies we heard.

I don't know if it is conviction or my motherly desires but oh how my beliefs have changed over the past few years. First, do we trust God with our lives? Has He not always provided for us? The more I realize how sovereign and almighty our God truly is, I realize He is in control of our lives...and it's much better that way. He is great...we are not. He is perfect...we are not. He knows all...we do not. Who better to be in control of our lives? Our decision, I truly believe, was wrong...biblically. Children are such a treasure and every verse in the Bible confirms this. I believe our decision was wise in a *worldly* way but not in a *God-honoring* way...and everything in me desires to change this.

Chris was not on the same thinking-level I was on, though. Often, I tried to convince him otherwise...but to no avail. Unintentionally (and to my shame), I became a nagging wife...pleading for him to reconsider. He told me he would pray about it and think on it. (Waiting was torture...truly)! He came to a decision finally (I have been asking for years...and more fervently the past few months)...

Here is his proposal. He will have the reversal done *but* first, we have to have the money to pay for it. (To get it done in Pittsburgh costs almost $7500). So we'll take some in savings now and then add to it with our next income tax return check (next year). We don't think it is biblical to go into I completely agree with his thoughts on waiting until we have all the money we need.

The next stipulation is that I need to lose weight (I think it would be easier if he asked me to gnaw off my right arm!). He wants me completely healthy...for my sake and any pregnancies along the way (Lord willing). It was terribly hard to hear from him...but it was said in love. Tears streamed down my face as I felt that I would never be able to get the weight off. After talking to my mom and sister (who were both incredibly encouraging and supportive...of the weight loss and future pregnancies) I decided to contact a friend of mine who runs our local YMCA. They have spinning (cycling in place) classes at 6am. This will be a sure way to help me lose the weight. I am an early bird so getting up that early won't be a Chris will still be home with the children so I won't need to find a sitter. I can be home before he leaves for work.

 I am more of the old-fashioned, skirt-wearing, chore-doing kinda gal. The idea of throwing on pants and going to the gym doesn't exactly appeal to me...but I need more exercise and this is *just* what I need. It's not going to be easy...but I am going to work at this! I am starting tomorrow (Friday) morning...bright and early (goodness...I'll have to find my sneakers...I don't even remember the last time I wore those!). I may not be able to walk the rest of the day tomorrow...but I know it will feel great to get exercising more!

So, my plan is that along with smaller portions and smarter food decisions to lose the extra weight. This is real motivation. I long for more hopefully, in a year, I will be smaller, healthier and Chris will have the reversal. I am aware the reversal may still not result in pregnancy...but at least I will know it's God's will and not because of *our* decision.

Lord willing, a year from now, I will be posting that Chris's reversal went well and then...hopefully at some point, announcing another pregnancy. As the weight comes off, I may share updates from time to time...we'll see. My sister is due in January with her wee one and I hope to be thinner in those pictures of holding my new niece or nephew! :)

It's pretty embarrassing...knowing that thousands of people may read this over the next month or so. Yep, I'm over-weight and *not* proud of it. But now I have a plan to get it off...and I am going with it. Prayers and encouragement are *very* much appreciated.

Thanks for taking the time to visit me here...and if you have read this far...I'm grateful.

Here goes!!

Grace unto you, and peace, be multiplied,



  1. Katy,

    Let's encourage each other...I need to lose too, and I have a exercise bike here at my house! I am excited to see what the Lord is going to do for you guys...did you know there are reversal groups that help people pay for reversals? I don't remember any names but you should be able to google it....


  2. Oh Katy! I am sitting here with tears in my eyes! I am so happy for you and Chris and your decision to let the Lord be in control of your womb once again! My husband and I made a very worldly decision with regards to our fertility many, many years ago. Since then we have been blessed with another child through the miracle of adoption. God is good,and children are so precious to Him! Please know I am committing to pray for your journey this next year... for securing the funds to have the procedure, that it will be successful, Lord willing, and that you will achieve your getting-healthy goals. I too would love to join you in your exercise journey friend! I would love to give and receive encouragement as we commit to changing our shapes! Love you friend! ~Kelly in MN

  3. So happy to hear the news and will pray that things go according to God's perfect plan for your family. So glad you have an open heart for children as does your husband. You will lose the weight, I'm sure of it!!!

  4. I will pray for you as you make this journey. I had my tubes tied after me 4 the child. And I regret it. I pray someday I can have it reversed, but the money has to come in as well. I know its hard to lose weight. I am trying to know as well. It seems so easy to put it on but not off. I'm sure you will be able to do it.

  5. I'm so glad you left me a comment so I could discover your blog! I really like it. I'm usually not a fan of music playing right away (it kind of kills my already slow internet), but I LOVE that song I heard even though I'm not usually a huge fan of instrumental.

    I admire your honesty! I dealt with a LOT of physical problems with both pregnancies, and we too were very fertile people (baby #1 was conceived on the pill; baby #2 was conceived in literally 1 time when we decided to start trying for baby #2...sorry if that's TMI). Anyway, I suffered a lot of depression and anxiety, that literally was HORRIBLE and debilitating and lasted all through pregnancy and for 2 years after youngest is almost 3 and the fog is just now lifting! So, we decided that I just couldn't go through that again and my hubby got a vasectomy as well. It really hurts my heart to know I won't be having anymore babies, but I just couldn't do it again (the baby part, yes...the depression and sickness part, no).

    I wanted to share that I am also trying to lose weight after a struggle with food addiction, etc. I would invite you to come back to my blog and check out my weightloss entries, and I would love it if we could encourage one another along the way. I participate in a weekly weightloss blogging group that is small, but really sweet (google Confessions of a Snowflake).

    1. Chrystal ~ I completely understand your situation with the depression and anxiety. It is the worst feeling in the world! We were very fertile too and while the depression/anxiety were bad with my son (first born), they were horrible with my daughter and took forever to recover. It was the entire reason my husband had a vasectomy and we decided not to have any more kids.

  6. Once again after reading what you wrote i am inspired! I too have been trying to lose weight after my 2nd son was born (who is now 5!) After reading this when my husband got home from work i put on my sneakers and went for a walk in my neighborhood! Thanks for the inspiration and best of luck to you!

  7. Oh, Katy - thank you for sharing so freely of your heart. Trusting God will walk with you each step of the way and lead exactly where HE wants! Love to you, friend!

  8. katy~I have been there (sorta)I have always been overwieght aka the big girl of the bunch and last november I decided I was tired of being that girl so I decided to start measuring all of my FOOD and drink lots of water(I mean lots more than normal)ans I stopped baking homemade goodies as often as I was that meant no more FRESH BAKED BREAD WEEKLY.I walked for at least 30 minutes daily,It really surprised me by measuring my food portions on how much I was eating and the biggest helper was GO THERE NOW and register its FREE and so helpful all u do is keep a diary of your food and exercise daily I mean for EXAMPLE if you had a thing of greenbeans and a piece of baked chicken you would type that in and choices come off a list they have and you choose your choice and portion size then it keeps track of your calories and how much water you take in.JUST GO THERE ,HERE IS WHY we have been trying its been almost 12 yrs and well I started this and stopped the pill and GUESS WHAT I found out in december that I lost 10 pounds and then I was pregnant THAT FAST and the doctors say its bcI lost weight and my body was agreeing with it.
    PLease make sure that you just arent wanting to have a baby BC everyone else is,I wen throught that when family was having babies and friends NOW everything is higher but the economy well stinks and I wouldnt want to see your family hurt if something did happen,just keep praying BC that is a lot of $$$$ to have the procedure reversed and then nothing happen.

    Lots of prayers for you and hubby and lots of luck with weightloss

  9. Sorry I didnt explain our first born is almost 12 so we have been waiting and then I started this weightloss and in a month it all happened,lol

    1. Congratulations Jamie!!! That is wonderful!!!

  10. Katy, first know your post was wonderful to read. I loved hearing your heart. Feel free to link up at my Prayer Wall for more prayers from any readers there! What a great motivator to get your body healthy and ready to go for another baby, if the Lord wills it. I too am overweight, no shame there when you are trying to get healthy and treat it right! Blessings to you.

    Working Kansas Homemaker (.com)

  11. My dear friend, I hope you know that you are not alone in your struggle with your weight. I need to lose a pound or two or fifty myself. :) Not an easy task I know.

    It isn't always easy to accept God's plan for our lives. I will be praying for the Lord to guide your steps. Thank you for sharing your heart.

  12. Katy I read every post and will look forward to seeing your weight loss in the future and will keep you in my prayers.

  13. Katy, a true to heart post and it was inspiring to read it. I too need to lose a few pounds. Not an easy task but I have started walking again and it feels wonderful. I being an older parent (50) to a 12 an 8 year old I need all the energy to keep moving for them. I will keep you in my prayers for this journey you are on. To guide your steps and mine.

  14. good luck, i know you can do it..i need to lose also..
    praying for you Katy..

  15. Hi Katy, I say there is nothing like having a peace in your heart that you are doing your best to find Gods' will. He will always bless an honest effort to seek after His plan. Your willingness to be open will help a lot of folks, and it makes us more able to express our deepest thoughts to ourselves and those that love us. Janice

  16. I just want you to know what an encouragement you are to me! I love reading your posts every day! Granted you make me feel lazy a lot of the time :) ha ha ha. I love hearing about your day to days! I have 2 beautiful daughters and have had a big struggle this last year with my mommy heart wanting more children. Last year we were 100% and then I had 2 miscarriages. We decided then to be fost-adopt parents which was the hardest thing we have ever been through. We moved on from that process and I still had an aching in my heart for another. My husband really did not want more at this point but said he would for me. I prayed and prayed and prayed again. We went on a family trip and it was like I finally had a peace in my heart that my family was perfect just the way we are. I want you to know that I know exactly how you are feeling!! I will pray for you guys and that God will bless you and your family. As far as the weight thing, one thing that helped my family was watching a documentary called forks over knives. There are some books that go along with it. Very educational and interesting. We have Netflix so when I start to fall off of the healthy wagon I will watch a healthy eating documentary to get me back on track. May sound silly but it really helps me :) Praying for you!

  17. Good luck Katy!! Just stay positive & I'm so happy for all of you!! Many blessings!!

  18. Joyce at Sweet Briar PatchJune 1, 2012 at 12:35 AM

    Katy, please don't feel embarrassed sharing your feelings with us concerning your weight and your struggles to have another child. I applaud your conviction to do God's will, whatever that may be, and the journey you are undertaking to meet your goal.

    First of all, so many of us have struggled with weight issues for many years and, while it surely isn't easy, you CAN do it. I have faith in you!!! Be consistent, take encouragement from each pound lost and, if you fall down today, just get up tomorrow and get back on the path. I imagine it must have been difficult for Chris to even bring this up (and so painful for you to hear it) but maybe God is using this process to help you become more healthy and, hopefully, ready you for a great gift.

    I believe that God will provide a way for Chris to have the reversal, even if it takes awhile, and if it is His will, your family will increase. From your postings, my friend, I have come to see that you are an amazing mother raising wonderful children and I will pray that you will, sooner rather than later, hold another of your sweet babies in your arms.

    Katy, I do feel that you are a friend and I thank you for sharing something so personal and close to your heart. I will be praying and thinking positive thoughts for a wonderful outcome for you and Chris. xxoo

  19. Oh Katy! I know what you are saying about the vasectomy. My husband had one done after the birth of our second child. And after a while I really grew to regret the decision. And I asked him to have it reversed but he's never wanted to. We ended up adopting our teenage son from Ukraine two years ago so we're a family of three now but I still long for more chubby babies to cuddle with! So now I just love on my sisters' babies!

  20. Oh, Katy, I will be praying for you! The Lord can give you the strength to get the weight off and improve your health. He is truly the giver of life, and I will pray He will bless your sweet family with life! Tiny new life, and life abundant in Him. Thank you for sharing this with us.

  21. Katy you CAN do it! I hope that everything goes well and that you will be announcing a pregnancy next year! Good Luck with everything!


  22. Katy, I pray this all works out for you.

  23. Katy,

    I know you can do this, simple changes will help you get to your goal. A few years ago I started eating salads and yogurt every work day at lunch, well, most days. I eat bread (white - can't get my family to switch to wheat) maybe one or two days a weeks, sometimes I go for weeks without it. If you still have your Netflix; rent a few exercise videos. I decided years ago that dieting wasn't for me, a change in my lifestyle is what I needed. Now, if only I could give up the awful, yet, delicious diet soda I about to drink right now.

    Some days I wish I had more children (I have one - a 13 year old); but feel at age 42, I am a little to old to have a healthy pregnancy for myself & the baby.

    Best of luck to you!


    1. My last pregnancy I was 47 and had no complications and have a happy, healthy 2 1/2 year old son, our first boy after 4 girls. You're NOT too old! :)

  24. How exciting for the prospect of another little one some day! Losing weight is hard, I know as I am overweight myself and have been going to Weight Watchers the last three months, but support is key! Sharing your struggles on your blog will be a big help as there are so many of us in the same weight situation and it's a lot easier to do it with the encouragement of others. You can do it!

  25. THANK YOU for sharing your story. My DH and I have struggled for 8 years with infertility. I KNOW that part of the problem is my weight. UGH. I DO NOT like to have "exercise" as part of my daily schedule--I feel too busy. BUT, YOU have inspired me! Good luck and God speed on your quest!

  26. Praying for your family. I'm so excited for you! I think you have the motivation you need to lose weight and get healthy! :)

  27. After my chemo put 35 pounds on me, I went on Weight Watchers. I have always struggled with my weight. I used to have a bread machine, and when it died I was glad. The key is not merely portion control and exercise; it is also what we eat. I know carbs are my downfall,so I have to limit those. Bread is almost non-existent for me any more. Healthy eating is mostly fruit, vegetables, and whole grains. I even switched to brown rice and use chicken broth to season it. I feel better and am healthier.

  28. Dear Katy,

    You can do this! I will be praying for you my dear and I will be jumping for joy as all this unfolds for your precious family.
    I had such difficult pregnancies,two babies 11 years apart, the Lord knew my heart was aching to hold more children and blessed me with three more precious daughters through adoption (I know you already know about the adoptions). Please know I WILL BE PRAYING your arms will be filled with more babies too!

    As far as the weight loss, you're doing it the right way. Smaller portions and exercise but allow yourself one treat everyday. Doing anything cold turkey will make it more difficult. One trick that I do is eating out of small bowls. I know it sounds silly but it makes portion control a little easier. Load up on fresh veg, lean proteins (chicken,fish,plain almonds) and try your best to stay away from sugars. I've done a lot of research on food so if you need help, please let me know.
    Hugs and Blessings,

  29. Good luck to you both, I hope everything goes the way you want it too!!

    Blessings unto you!!

  30. really enjoy reading your posts. please think carefully. the quiverfull movement is very inviting, but in reality nightmare. check out

    1. I looked at the link you shared, anon. It didn't make me think differently about my situation...but rather made me incredibly sad for these people who would turn to the world rather than God. Patriarchal fathers who abuse their roles are sinning...but ones who love their children and wife well and lead them as scripture teaches are doing the right thing.

      I am not looking to have many children. We are just repenting of something that we can't seem to find biblical basis for (vasectomy). And I *do* need to lose gluttony is a sin as well. So I think we are acting in a thoughtful, God-centered way.

      The story of Libby Anne told of how she grew up in a Godly, loving home full of brothers and sisters and how wonderful her childhood was. But when she went to college, she "learned" so many things against her biblical upbringing and she is now embracing those ideas...rather than the biblical views she was brought up with. I pray that God draws her back to the truth. This in no way sounds like a sounds like a wonderful life that she admits but then decides to listen to the world rather than the Creator of the world.

      My goal is to glorify God in all I do. If we aren't to have any more children...He will make sure of that. Chris is a loving father and leader of our home. He, although still the head, in no way makes me feel like my opinion doesn't matter. The one lady on that site you mentioned was quoting different things from a book: The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace. That is a GREAT book and she didn't mention many different parts of the book that do explain how a woman is not demeaned in her role.

      I am not part of any movement...but just seek to glorify God in my behavior. I know this is Chris's greatest goal as well. :)
      Thank you for reading and visiting with me! :)

  31. I will be looking forward to your post on the weight loss. I could use all the motivation I can get. I get busy and just forget to take the time to take a walk to exercise. And since I read your blog everyday it will be a great help to "remember". I need to lose a few pounds myself, believe me your not the only person that needs to lose. If you would share what you eat would be another great motivator for me! :)

    As a side note, I love to read your blog because of the same type of interst and your faith and love of God is so insipring to me! Thank you for taking the time to post out of your busy life!

  32. My gracious Katy!
    I enjoyed seeing you in a photo;-)

    And, I'm excited to follow you along this journey. Getting the weight off after all three of my pregnancies was a hard thing. I'm thankful for you that you have a loving husband who so gracefully is walking down this road with you.
    Where there is a will...there is a way!

  33. Katy - What a wonderful blog post! You can do it and I can't wait to read a pregnancy post the coming years or so.

    PS ~ Wow a reversal is so expensive! My husband's vasectomy was done in the doctor's office and cost a $10 copay.

  34. Katy I know how you feel about the weight, its not easy *but* it will come off with hard work and perseverance!! I have been on the life changing journey of losinf weight and getting healtier since January, I am almost to the 20lb mark....It has been a very slow process for me, but I think its my age that is making it so slw. I have found Leslie Sansone's Walk At Home Dvd's to be alot of fun and but busting!! Look into them you would probably enjoy them as well and the kids could even do it with you, my grandson loves to do them with me!!:0) I wish you the best in all that your heart is desiring my friend!! God Bless!!

  35. I think it's rather a shame that you pressure you husband so much about every aspect of your Christian walk. You seem to wear him down until he gives in. As a Christian wife, you ought to submit to him, not push your ideas on him over and over until he relents. That is not scriptural. I've read your blog for a long time now, and you always seem to get your way, and then rejoice when Chris finally gives in. Maybe you should read back some of your blog posts and see what I mean.

    1. I am always quite curious why someone says something hurtful and never leaves their name?

      I agree that I have been wrong in how I have done things..but you don't know the discussions Chris and I have nor the repenting and guilt I have had over it. I am not quite sure what other posts you are speaking of...that I always try to get my own way (examples would be helpful). You are not aware of how I submit to my husband, as you are not here to see it daily.

      If *you* are a Christian, the proper (and biblical) thing to do is not publicly humiliate someone like this...but rather, lovingly, confront them privately at first (whether in person or through email).

      I will be the first to admit I am a flawed and wretched person saved only by the blood of Jesus. I mess up...and I repent and strive not to repeat the wrongs.

      A kind fyi...I *did* ask Chris if he truly thought the vas reversal was biblical and the right thing to do...because I didn't want him just to do it for me. He said he believed it was the right thing to do.

      If, by my posts, you don't believe I am a Godly woman worth knowing or befriending...or if you feel I am a terrible example to you...please stop coming here. And please, if you have another sin you would like to bring up with me, I kindly ask that you will take the time to email me in private (my email is located on the left sidebar). Thank you.

  36. Katy, I appreciate your comment to what "Anonymous" posted. It speaks volumes to me when someone is critical or hurtful yet can't identify him/herself. And you are spot-on about a criticism or negative comment being addressed privately. Of course, that would entail losing the anonymity. Hmmm....

    Anyway, being so close to you and your whole family, I am convinced that while you may have been "overly persistent" in sharing your regrets and your heart's desire with Chris, he is a strong man and wouldn't do anything he doesn't agree with. He has the same desire to be in God's will in all that he does as the head of your family. Your seeking of His face is constant and I have witnessed how God has used you to open the eyes of many people, not just your husband. The bottom line is that you truly seek to be submissive to your husband and Chris is well aware of that. He doesn't take advantage of it but respects it and gives great thought to his family and what God would have him do. I have heard others make comments in the past, but they don't see what I've seen. Chris is NO pushover!! LOL!!! Anything BUT!!! He just isn't very verbal and therefore, because you're more forthcoming, people ASSUME that YOU make the decisions... WRONG!!!

    To be honest, I am proud of your growth in your relationship with your Heavenly Father. I trust your motives. I've watched your transformation and you bless me. Others might not agree with you. To them I say, "Seek God, study the Scriptures and review your own motives and your relationship with Him. Are YOU truly seeking Him in ALL you do?"

    If so, they'd understand where you're coming from. If not, then that's something personal they need to address. You can fool yourself but you can't ever fool God!

    Don't let any nay-sayers cause you pain. God is in control. He will decide whether you will hold more babies of your own in your arms. By reversing the vasectomy, you are correcting a decision you made without consulting your Father. You've been convicted of that and so has Chris. Whether you conceive afterwards will be His doing. And you can have a peace about it, either way. <3

  37. Katy, I'm sorry I caused you pain. I should not have commented the way I did, and I apologise. It was wrong of me to presume things about you or your marriage. I have asked God to forgive me, and I hope you will too.

    1. Of course I forgive you...thank-you for that. I *do* want to be held accountable and appreciate concern from (I'm assuming as I don't know who you are) a sister in Christ. I would just rather it be done in private so we could discuss it together. I am still learning and maturing in my faith. :)

  38. please be careful about the christian patriarchy/vision forum/quiverful teachings that have been spreading over the last 20 years or so. these are false teachings meant to enslave and destroy. they seem to have a grain of truth, but once you bring these teachings home and subject your children, they will destroy your family. you can see many ugly stories about patriarchy/vision forum/bill gothards ati etc. all false and so destructive. please wade carefully, especially if your pastor or church has begun promoting these teachings.

    1. My pastor and church have not promoted any such thing...but do believe the man is head of the household, as is biblical.

      I *do* believe that men and women have different roles and that the wife is to be submissive to her husband. I wish Anon. comments would sign their name or if they are Christians or would help me understand the perspective you are coming from.

      I believe the Bible teaches husbands are heads of their family and the wives. This doesn't take away from the value of a actuality, it gives her a place of her husband is her defender and protector.

      It does not enslave or destroy a woman to serve her husband and children. It actually gives her the opportunity to live more like Christ.

      I believe children to be a wonderful blessing and treasure and for anyone to believe otherwise is heart-wrenching to me.

      Please, if you share these opinions, back them up with why you believe the way you do.

      My husband is head of this household and if he abuses that responsibility/privilege then he is accountable to God. I have to be responsible for my own behavior (which is in itself so often lacking).

      I believe if more husbands/fathers took the role God made for them (and women in their submissive role) that families would be doing *much* better nowadays.

  39. So happy for you! Happy saving money and weight loss! If the Lord blesses you with another one, it will be awesome. If nothing else, the peace that comes from obeying the Lord will be awesome! Ask me how I know!! :)


I am always so grateful to read your comments! I thank you for the time you took to visit and share your thoughts with me. :o)
May you enter as a stranger and leave as a friend!
Warmly, Katy