Thursday, May 8, 2008

Priorities...NOT interruptions.


I don't know about you...but I tend to say "not right now" or "in a bit" or "just a minute" to my kids a lot. I am always in the middle of "doing" something...whether it be dishes, laundry, cooking, other housework or even reading. I sometimes tend to treat my children as if they are interruptions...rather than priorities!!!

I have been reading "The Mom Your Meant To Be" by Cheri Fuller. (I read a couple books at once...as you can probably notice..LOL). And one of the points she makes is to see your kids as your priorities...not interruptions. Sure...i would say my kids are a priority to me...and they are....but how often do I brush them aside when I feel they are "interrupting" me? Way toooo often! This book has really opened my eyes to things and brought me close to tears and repenting to God and asking for His help to be a better mother.

What is more important? Washing that next dish or joyfully listening to the new song my daughter made up?

Now, obviously if we, mothers, gave our kids 100% of our attention, 100% of the day...the housework would NEVER get done! LOL And that is certainly not what I mean. I just know that for myself I am always seeming "too busy" for them. I see many ways in which I can give my kids loving attention...even if it means putting aside something else I am doing.

HERE is a good link by Cheri Fuller about Delighting In Your Children! I encourage you to read it if you have a tendency to do as I do. I will be praying about this issue in my life and making the choice to listen to my kids and make sure they are a priority! :0)

If you struggle with this...i would love to hear about it...or if you don't have this struggle...please share with us ways you get your housework done as well as give your children the attention they need!!! THANK YOU!!!

13 comments:

  1. I hate to admit that I sometimes brush off Megan. It is hard to clean when she keeps saying "up, up!" I find myself saying just a minute way too often.

    One thing that has helped is the introduction of playdoh. I will sit her in the highchair give her some playhoh and a couple of popsicle sticks. I am able to unload the diswasher and clean up the kitchen. She is right there with me so I can still interact with her and most important, she has a blast!

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  2. I too struggle with this issue.It`s very hard trying to "do it all." I will look for this book.It sounds great!

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  3. Oh, Katy -- another lovely, touching post.

    Balance. That's what my days seem to be about -- finding time to really be with the kids while carving out enough time to keep everything and everyone in order. Including myself. Some days are aces all around... and some just aren't.

    One way that we all connect is to eat dinner together every night. Even Baby Brendan is right there in his high chair. We come together to talk, review the day, make plans, and enjoy a meal. Every night. It's one part of my day that I really look forward to. Another is bath time and those few moments just as their heads are hitting the pillow and I/we ask them what their favorite part of the day was.

    Sometimes I do feel myself putting them off for just a few more minutes and other times I just look around and set aside whatever it is that seems pressing in the moment. They are growing so quickly that more and more I find myself being with them versus cleaning up, for instance. Some things can keep and I am increasingly aware that good communication now may help keep the lines open as they get older and less inclined to really share their thoughts with us. I want them to know that I truly am listening.

    We can't be everything to everyone every moment of the day. We can strive to do our best and love them whenever and however we can.

    Thanks for sharing...

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  4. Great post Katy!

    I think all mothers go through guilt when they can't spend "all" their time with their children. I tend to feel guilty when I am gone to do "me" time. I know I shouldn't because it makes me be a better mother.

    I try to balance between housework/me time when the kids are in bed and during nap/quiet time. I can catch up on daily chores, blog :) or do my crafts. And some days I just don't have the energy to do it ALL.

    If there are things to do around the house then I try to involve the boys as much as possible. My 4 year old loves to help. Yes, it might take a little longer to do but it teaches them responsibility.

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  5. It's for sure that some days are better than others when it comes to motherhood. That's why I am so grateful that each day ends and another one begins so that we have another chance to do better or change. I hope that no matter how the day goes, or the balancing act of life is, that my children will feel loved and cherished. They are my world.

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  6. Don't be too hard on yourself, dear girl. I admit it is something that can be overdone and we need to find that right balance. On the other hand, you don't want those precious babes of your's to get the idea that your "work" has no importance and can be dropped at a moment's notice. I am a firm believer in teaching children respect. That means they need to respect that you have a lot of very important jobs that need to be accomplished to give them a good life. Boundaries. Respect. Patience.

    I am sure you are a terrific Mom!

    ((hugs)) Rosie

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  7. I myself did the same thing when my kids were younger, housework and keeping a spotless hpme was so much more important! Now my kids are grown up living their own lives not really needing or wanting moms attention. Boy if I could go back and change things I most certainly would!! Don't be hard on yourself just know you have time to change things with your little ones!! So mom hang up the apron more and play!! lol Have a wonderful Friday my friend!!~Wendy....I love your new background its so cute!!:0)

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  8. I could only read half of your post, your page is cut short?

    I am with Wendy on this, enjoy your kids to the fullest, they grow so quickly and they will all be off to school before you know it.

    Your house does not have to be spotless, a clean house does not always mean that it is a loving house.

    Rose

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  9. Katy,
    How appropriate is it that I just read this after Aften was whining because I didn't jump right up and get her her cereal the second she asked? LOL I often find that happening but I don't feel guilty about it. I don't put them off when they're asking me to do somethings, it's usually like, "Hang on a second and I'll get you your drink." I know they're not going to die if they don't get a drink right now while I'm setting the washer to get it started.

    I seriously wonder why on earth my kids haven't realized to be more patient yet! LOL I think if you constantly ran every time they asked for you or did something the second they wanted, they wouldn't understand paitence and would end up being quite demanding. But they're like that anyhow...it's their personality. Mom pointed out to me not long after Aften was born that I had two kids born under the sign of the Ram (not that we're huge horoscope people) and does it ever fit! LOL

    My favorite thing is when they yell for you to come to them for them to ask you about something that you could have answered from the other end of the house. Or they could have came to YOU to tell you. I should be really thin for as much walking as I do through our house in a day! LOL

    Anyway, you're not alone..none of us are. We're not perfect. Can't do it all all the time. We just do our best :)

    Leslie

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  10. Yes, if only I had it to do over again. :) I can't think of the old poem, but it had a line it ended with, "So quiet down cobwebs and dust go away, because babies don't keep." The moral to the poem was for mom's of young ones to keep their perspective. It is not the end of the world if your housework doesn't get done in tip top shape. Just so long as you can maintain your castle for your king to an acceptable level for him and for your own sanity too. :) By the way, if you kids are old enough to walk, they are old enough to help with the housework. SO, be sure to 'include' them in everything you do. The lessons they learn will be invaluable. Kids spell love, T-I-M-E, they don't care what they are doing so much, so long as they are 'doing' it with you. Blessings & prayers! :)

    Hey, I finally added you to my blog roll today! :)

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  11. Thank you. I needed the reminder.

    Happy Mother's Day!

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  12. You commented on my friends blog so I followed the path back to yours, and you have some great stuff here! I'll look forward to coming back a lot. :)
    Tiff

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  13. Katy, I think most moms struggle with this issue from time to time. I know I have. Balance is so important. And we all need to reevaluate from time to time to be certain our priorities are still in order.

    As long as we're always seeking, we will find.

    Blessings,
    Lea

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I am always so grateful to read your comments! I thank you for the time you took to visit and share your thoughts with me. :o)
May you enter as a stranger and leave as a friend!
Warmly, Katy