Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Making A House A Home?


Do you ever feel like the cleaning is never done? Of course, I don't mind cleaning. I am a SAHM and totally feel that is one of my duties as a wife and homemaker. And I am definitely OK with that. Although...I must admit...sometimes I feel overwhelmed by it. Does anyone else feel that way? I feel like no matter how hard I try to keep things perfect...there always ends up being something that I forgot to dust or something that needs organized. I have a bit of a perfectionist living in my body, I think. I have a hard time feeling like things are never done well enough.

My husband has NEVER made me feel that I don't do well enough. He is so sweet and wonderful. He says how I do a great job and such. He is definitely my encourager! I am so glad and thankful that God put us together! So...this is an issue in myself. A nagging little thing in me telling me I am not doing well enough. It is quite frustrating!

I struggle with the thoughts of "should a home be spotless or lived in?". It's like, since I know I am at home during the day....I take my role seriously and think I need to do the best I can at it. I definitely keep my house clean....but deep inside I know of things I could have done better or that basket of laundry should already be folded and put away...It can be quite overwhelming!

So, I am just curious if anyone else feels like this or if you don' do you find peace about it? I always feel like if the house hasn't been basically spring cleaned daily...that it isn't clean enough. I drive myself nuts about it. I would love to hear everyone's thoughts on this and such!!! I really appreciate it!!! Thank you!!!


  1. I was fanatical about the house when I was first married and when my children were babies. Then, it became evident that I was not giving them a creative relaxed environment. If I was too worried about getting that basket of laundry done and not giving them time to spread paper out on the table to finger paint that was wrong. So, I relaxed.....and we were all more content. Things got done....eventually :-) Rosie

  2. I feel the same way - and I beat myself up for not having my house be perfect. BUT I've had to seriously, seriously let go. My house is so not how I want it to look, but my husband and kids have to come first. Otherwise I have a clean home with very unhappy people living inside. Not a good trade off in my book.
    The other day I was mopping the floor thinking about this and I said to Daniel - "someday my house will be spotless ALL the time." Then I grew sad because I realized it will be spotless because there won't be any children living in it. I guess you just can't have both. I am just going to enjoy right now :)


  3. Katy,
    I think it is important to have a clean and organized home.Mine is far from it though.I do thing it is a warning sighn and can be a danger if it becomes an idol in our hearts.If that`s all you can think about and it consumes you it`s time to think about what is motivating our hearts.Is it a desire to please God,or self?Or man?I think that is the real issue.
    My final thought is this.Don`t feel guilty if things aren`t perfect.Do the best you can.As long as things are getting done.I hope I was a help to you:)mom211911

  4. Wow, I agree with all the comments. I had to learn to "let go" after having kids, too. I would love to have my house spotless, all the time, but at what cost?! Having a clean house is one thing, but when it completely takes over, then that's not good. My sister told me once that she didn't want her children to look back on their childhood and only remember that their house was clean. I agree with that. There are so many more important things than a perfect house.

  5. You are all sooooo right....I guess i just feel like, if my house doesn't look fantastic and spotless...that it makes me seem lazy and like I am not doing my part of my homemaker/wife job...know what i mean? I don't want to be fanatical about it...but at the same time..I want to be the best wife/mom/homemaker I can be too...the life of a woman is tough, i tell ya! LOL

  6. I know exactly what you mean Katy and I do for the most part keep my house clean, but there's days that I seriously have to stop and wonder "do I want to go nuts and make sure everything is sparkling clean? Or do I want the kids to have fun and play without having me constantly walking behind them picking things up?"

    I want my house neat and tidy and clean, but I also want it to look lived in, not so clean that everyone is afraid to touch anything in it.

    You have to balance it all out, you don't need to live in filth to have a happy home and look homely, but you also don't have to have it spotless and shiny if everyone is unhappy.

  7. Katy,
    Everyone's comments are so right on the mark. I was especially touched by Andrea's comment. I feel the same way ... a super clean house will mean my babies are gone. So I need to enjoy the disorganization at times ... yes even that plastic shark that I stepped on the dark hallway last night and almost brought me to tears! LOL

    The key is balance. You know I'm going to tell you a story that I haven't yet expressed in words until now. I am a really neat person. I love clean and don't mind organizing. It is just part of who I am. But about seven years, I had no balance. The house HAD to be clean. My youngest was 3 years old and I woke that morning to find him in a stupor ... unable to talk or communicate. He ended up in the hospital on life support for several days while I sat and held his hand hoping that he would awaken and say, "Hi Mom." The ONLY thing that I could think of during that entire time was that I wished I had read him a story before bed. He asked me to, but I didn't. I had to get that last load of laundry done.

    I was blessed. He recovered and we enjoy his love everyday. But even after all this time, I know what really matters. And that sweet bedtime story or time coloring at the table is more important than anything that needs to be done around the home.

    Okay, I'm boo hooing now. But I said all that just to remind you not to fret too much about those household things. Do your best and put the people in your life first and whatever you get done will be enough.

    Be blessed,

  8. I never feel like my house stays clean longer than about 10 minutes! It is very frustrating, some days I can let it go and some days it gets me down. I remind myself that the kids won't remember how clean the house was and to just let it go sometimes.


I am always so grateful to read your comments! I thank you for the time you took to visit and share your thoughts with me. :o)
May you enter as a stranger and leave as a friend!
Warmly, Katy