Friday, March 24, 2017

"The principle of submission in marriage is... acceptance of God's created order of male headship. Rebellion against this order is rejection of the biblical legacy of womanhood."

~ The Legacy of Biblical Womanood by Susan Hunt & Barbara Thompson 
(All quotes in this post will be from this book!)

We were created to be helpers. That is our design. It's not a bad design since it comes from the perfect Creator! Feminism has taken this beautiful design and beat it, smashed it and thrown it away. Now the role as helper is seen as something to be ashamed of...when a woman is a stay at home wife ~ fulfilling her role as helpmeet to her husband and managing her home ~ it is often looked down upon.

"...God's world was not complete without man and woman. The woman was not a clone of the man. God made one who was equal but different from the man. The God of glory created woman as a helper. Our redemption frees us and compels us to glorify God by fulfilling this helper design in all seasons and circumstances of life. This is our calling as redeemed women."

Girls are automatically expected to go to college after high school (with a career oriented mind-set!). Most of these girls want to get married and have a family but they find themselves in debt and in a "must work outside the home" situation after college. I am definitely not against higher education. I am against debt ~ which the Bible warns against as well (Proverbs 22:11, Romans 13:8).

"The helper proclivity of women is crushed in a culture of individualism and independence. Women are encouraged to pursue self-fulfillment and self-actualization."

I remember watching Reading Rainbow when I was younger (which I am not against that program...I had always really enjoyed it) ~ but the theme song told me I could "be anything". Thoughts swirled in my head of being an astronaut, a marine biologist, a school teacher and more. None of these are bad! However, when thinking of what "wonderful" thing I could "be" ~ "just" a mom and wife never seemed as exciting as all those other careers. My mindset was on **myself**. How I could fulfill *me* I could be "great". I was not set on thinking of how I was created as a helper. I wasn't having the Christ-like attitude of a servant. Thankfully, the Lord did a great work in me...opening my eyes to His truth and although I still fight that "self" heart is set in the right direction. I have a desire to glorify Him through my role as helper.

"When the Lord God breathes new life into our dead souls and makes us disciples of Jesus, our helper heart will overflow in life-giving covenantal ministries. We will be gifts to our churches. Community life will be richer. Compassion will flourish. The kingdom will be extended.....We disobeyed, and Jesus was cursed. He obeyed, and we are blessed. Such grace compels us to obey from a heart of gratitude and love."

Thankfully, as I was finishing high school, the Lord put it in my heart: all I truly wanted to be was a homemaker, wife and mother (I still didn't totally comprehend my helper role...but over the years ~ the Lord has opened my eyes to so much!). I went to college for a year since that was "what you do" after high school...but I just picked a random major because I had no particular desire to go to school for anything since my heart was *at home*.  From there, the Lord continued working in my life to put everything in order for me to fill my helper role. Chris and I got to know each other more and soon, fell in love. We were married in fall of 2000 and 10 months later, we had our daughter! :)

So, back to the reason for this post. Submission. It is a scary word to a lot of people....but it is what the Bible requires of us all (wives to husbands and husbands to Christ. All of us are to be submissive to governing authorities etc.). We find the Scriptures telling us to be submissive to our husbands in Ephesians 5:22 and 1 Peter 3:1. Submission is *not* a threat to redeemed women.

"The redeemed helper is not threatened by male headship. She values male and female distinctiveness because she knows that they are God's design and order. She knows that submission has nothing to do with status. Submission has to do with function and is a reflection of the ontological equality and yet the functional difference in the Trinity. Submission is built into the way God has ordered life in the kingdom, and it is good because He is good. Headship and submission are God's ordained order for achieving oneness in marriage and unity in the church....The redeemed helper knows that submission does not restrict her; it actually frees her to fulfill her life-giving mission." (emphasis mine)

Are you really being submissive? It is a question I have to ask myself often. Sometimes I *think* I am being submissive...but if I really am honest with myself...I realize I'm not. I have a bad habit (or should I just say "sin") of trying to convince my husband that my way is right. Submission does *not* come easily or naturally to me. I have to work at it. I always think I'm right (ok..not always...but often) . I have improved a lot through the years but still have a ways to go! I often have to humbly tuck my tail between my legs, apologize and admit that I was wrong. In some circumstances, I *am* right...however, the way I go about expressing it and fighting for my way is wrong. I often have to remind myself to be "submissive in all things". I am reminded of the garden...who was deceived and then convinced her husband to follow suit. We know how that turned out!

Do you have a teachable, meek, quiet spirit? Humble and loving? These are things I am constantly asking myself and praying for. I strive to glorify the Lord in the way I am submissive to my husband, a helper to others and in training up my children. I fail....which makes His grace even more beautiful to me. As I continue to be sanctified by Him...I can look back in my life and see how He has been working. Sometimes I cringe at things I have done and then I praise God for His grace and lovingkindness towards me despite myself.

Submission, God's created order, a servant's heart and a helper's spirit are things that are very important to me and I am passionate about. In a culture where people are calling right wrong and evil good....I think it is important for God's people to keep things in order. God made males and females. He did not make one better than the other...He just made a system of order. He is a good God who does all things well. Women don't have to fight to be like men or to be as strong as men. We need to be women...the helpers God made us to be. :o)

A couple good reads (from trusted sources) that you might enjoy and glean much from:

23 Things I've Learned in 23 Years of Marriage ~ a post by Michelle Lesley

What does it mean for a wife to submit to her husband? ~ a post from CARM

This has been a bit of a longer post....and indeed...I need to get moving. My morning is flying by and I have much to get done! Thank you for taking the time to read and hear my thoughts on this. I'm sorry if they are a bit scattered. Sometimes organizing my thoughts is difficult (especially when I am helping with school work, answering phone calls, and more all while trying to write a post). :) I would love to hear your thoughts as well! Please share your comments and emails with me! I would most certainly love to hear them (even if you don't agree). If you don't agree...I do just ask that you talk in love and respect to me as I will to you! :)

I have just intertwined some pictures from home in this post! I hope you have enjoyed them!

A letter from the child we sponsor through Compassion. I treasure these letters! They are just too sweet...

Although super cold outside...we are enjoying some sunshine...

Thanks so much for visiting! I encourage you to be a helper to those around you. If you are married...after your relationship with the Lord...remember your husband comes first. Be submissive (even when it isn't easy) and you will honor the Lord in your behavior!

I really gotta run! This is why my posting has lessened over the just takes so much time and thought to post! ;o) I hope you will bear with me! Have a great weekend friends!



  1. Thank you for this. I have been struggling with it. For me it is all selfishness, I want things my way. Just recently I was praying, asking the Lord what I need to do differently and I heard "submit". I realized I have slowly been reverting to a me attitude. So your post is timely and I am thankful for it. I have put the book down on my "to-read" list. And I loved the pics of home, they are so cozy and homey.

    1. Hello Jennifer! I am so glad that you found this post helpful. I know I have gleaned much wisdom from other ladies as well on this topic! I also recommend The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace if you have not read it. It is a wonderful book! :o)

  2. Submission is probably one of most misunderstood and controversial topic. Once I finally understood what it meant it has been a game changer for my marriage. Now, with that said, I am still a huge work in progress on this subject. I don't always express my views in the most diplomatic way and it isn't easy when I know he won't budge. Putting my wants/wishes last isn't an easy thing. It's wonderful to have ecouragement in this walk.

    I understand about the lack of posting, but I do miss hearing from you!

  3. In nearly 26 years of marriage I have greatly struggled with submission. This is obviously the right read at the right time as it has spoken to my spirit. Thank you Katy.

  4. Good Evening Katy,
    Several years ago, I wrote a series on submission. You are correct, the women's movement, feminism, etc. has gotten it so wrong. They spread a lie that is at it's core complete self-fulfillment. The Lord has called us Christians to be servants. What an honor it is to serve our Lord through our families.
    A friend recently shared the following quote by William Golding, British Novelist, Playwright & Poet ...
    "I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men. They are far superior and always have been. Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater. If you give her a sperm, she will give you a baby. If you give her a house, she will give you a home. If you give her groceries, she will give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she will give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges whatever is given to her."

    Although I do not find a "superiority" in the above quote, I do find that when we Christian wives Biblically submit as helpmeets to our husbands, we enrich not only his life but the lives of everyone around us.
    Thanks for sharing.
    Blessings to you, my friend,

    P.S. I do not know anything about William Goldling's walk of faith. But I think the above quote is uplifting and edifying so I wanted to share it.

  5. Thankyou for a wonderful post. I especially liked this line "As I continue to be sanctified by Him...I can look back in my life and see how He has been working. Sometimes I cringe at things I have done and then I praise God for His grace and loving kindness towards me despite myself."
    All I can say is a hearty Amen, (me too).
    ~ Blessings to you (Linda)

  6. I enjoyed reading this post, Katy. Raised in the 80's, I too was imbued with the feminist rhetoric, and only recently began to realize what a disservice much of it was. Thanks for sharing!

  7. Thank you so much for writing this. I have been truly blessed by your story. I, too, have struggled with this and continue to struggle to submit to my husband. Our submission to God-given authorities (like our husband) reflects our submission to Him and His design. What a blessing it is to hear how God's sanctifying grace has transformed your heart!

  8. I have to respectfully disagree. I think it's entirely possible to be a strong, independent woman (with or without a husband) and not also be a self-centered egomaniac. I treasure the time I spent in college on my own. It enriched me in ways that simply getting married out of high school couldn't have. I think it's important for girls to experience the amazing things this world has to offer. I will encourage my own daughter to find her own balance when it comes to all the seasons of her life!

    I guess my point is that your words feel like it's all or nothing. You're either living for yourself in delusion or staying at home, married and submissive. Such a narrow lense with which to see life and its myriad experiences.

    But, to each his own! I too am in Western Pa and I hope you're enjoying the warmer weather today!


I am always so grateful to read your comments! I thank you for the time you took to visit and share your thoughts with me. :o)
May you enter as a stranger and leave as a friend!
Warmly, Katy